The Most Entertaining Entertainment On Television!
I was watching the news again today for some not yet explained reason that's yet to be self-explained to me by myself, but that's redundant. I was watching the theatrical re-enactment of life unfold right before my eyes. It was like a Michael Bay wetdream of disaster and tragedy and romance and drama and scandal with lazers all the colors of the rainbow (except for the gay colors, those are for fags) hitting a mirrorball spinning at 400,000rpm before it explodes firing bite-sized shrapnel that's fun for the whole family the length of the room. It was exhaustingly exciting. Fortunately the commercial time reminded me that I was thirsty and also that Zap-core, supercharged, caffeine free, ultra caffeinated, speed fueled energy drink would rehydrate me while giving me the super-sonic, funkified, ultra-x-tastic spark I'd need to get through my day with enough energy left over to beat my girlfriend and run 12 marathons to the moon. Sweet, sweet freedom. Then the news is back, kicking my teeth out with celebrity public interest stories. "Will Paris Hilton get into some more wacky trouble?" Holy fuck, man! I don't know! Will she?! We'd better keep a close eye on her. The news is awesome. So I'm writting CNN a letter.
Dear CNN,
I love your show. It's awesome. I was hooked after just one episode and I got some of my friends to check it out too. Every thursday night we get together and watch it. Jeff always brings snacks, but the rest of us kinda feel bad cause we never bring any snacks, you know, and we'd hate for him to spend all his money all time cause he works at Wal-Mart so we're going to pool some cash together next week to pay him back even though he'll probably just keep bringing snacks. Oh well, you know how it is. We're all really digging the episodes you guys have written up this year though. My buddy Bob thinks that you guys are going to have the U.S. invade Iran for the season finale, but I was thinking that you guys already used that story in season 2 for the Iraq thing so you'll probably just cook something new up. I think you should have Paris Hilton do something crazy cause she's my favorite character. Hey, also, we were wondering if you guys got a bigger budget this year cause the pyrotechnics seem to have gotten way better. Shawn says that maybe you guys were able to save a bunch of cash because you no longer have to pay all those actors who played the soldiers you killed off in Iraq. How are you guys able to do that anyway? I mean you'd figure those guys would want 4 season contracts at the least. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that all the work you put into this show is greatly appreciated. You guys'll never get cancelled.
Kevin N. Burke
P.S. Hey, what's with those wacky Africans? Will they never learn? Awesome characters! Thumbs up!
Dear CNN,
I love your show. It's awesome. I was hooked after just one episode and I got some of my friends to check it out too. Every thursday night we get together and watch it. Jeff always brings snacks, but the rest of us kinda feel bad cause we never bring any snacks, you know, and we'd hate for him to spend all his money all time cause he works at Wal-Mart so we're going to pool some cash together next week to pay him back even though he'll probably just keep bringing snacks. Oh well, you know how it is. We're all really digging the episodes you guys have written up this year though. My buddy Bob thinks that you guys are going to have the U.S. invade Iran for the season finale, but I was thinking that you guys already used that story in season 2 for the Iraq thing so you'll probably just cook something new up. I think you should have Paris Hilton do something crazy cause she's my favorite character. Hey, also, we were wondering if you guys got a bigger budget this year cause the pyrotechnics seem to have gotten way better. Shawn says that maybe you guys were able to save a bunch of cash because you no longer have to pay all those actors who played the soldiers you killed off in Iraq. How are you guys able to do that anyway? I mean you'd figure those guys would want 4 season contracts at the least. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that all the work you put into this show is greatly appreciated. You guys'll never get cancelled.
Kevin N. Burke
P.S. Hey, what's with those wacky Africans? Will they never learn? Awesome characters! Thumbs up!
posted by Hooligan at 10:07 PM
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