I Had A Dream...

Really, I did. A real dream. Once, in a time and socially conscious place long since exchanged for wants and asthetically exciting doo-dads and trinkets in the name of social competition. Recently, I also had a dream of a much different colour. Green. And Silver. I dreamed that I owned and XBOX360. No shit. My dreams have become full of product placements. My friends and I were gathered around my living room drinking beer and playing what I assume was Halo 3 on my new XBOX game console. Everyone was so happy, just like in tv land. All smiles. During the dream, the feeling was one of absolute exhiliration, much like your first wildly vivid sex dream would have been. Or that dream in which your heart seizes and you wake only to find that you've forgotten the face of the dream girl and are left with an empty space where the feeling of what you could only assume was love used to be (this dream is most often followed by a few days of your walking around aimlessly in reality looking for something that never exsisted in the first place). It might have even felt like "the" dream, the one long since forgotten that you had as a kid. Regardless, that feeling was most certainly in my XBOX360 dream. How fucked up is that? When I woke up I was disgusted with myself. I just imagined a world in which Martin Luther King spoke: "I have a dream. A dream in which the sons of former slaves and sons of former slaves owners might sit at the same table and play the most amazing Halo tournament ever imagined. Buy XBOX!" and then everyone watching his speech cries as Martin takes a handfull of cash from Microsoft execs. I then line up with a great number of like-minded individuals to take a shitload of x-tremely strong perscription painkillers because my soul hurts. Across the way another line is formed for those wanting to buy XBOX360s (sooner or later all roads lead to this line). The worst part of this entire ordeal is that XBOX360 is totally sweet.


Also, KEVIN'S ROCK YOUR ASS MOVIE IDEA #4:

- An evil geneticist, after cloning an army of giant stingray people, takes the crocodile hunter hostage and threatens to destroy the world. Martin Luther King, reincarnated into an XBOX360, teams up with the planet's croc population to fight him.