Are You There, Anne? It's Me, Sean

Ok. First thing's first. It occured to me that the reason I may be unable to post working links in the "Foreword" sections of my posts is that I was posting them in italics. So, from now on, the Foreword portions will be in standard print and the letters themselves in italics. Next, while reading over the Rumsfeld letter, though I still really dig it, I found that it didn't exactly strike the point home as much as I would have liked it too. The purpose was to openly mock his ludicrous action as well to point out what I felt to be his obvious opinion of women as evidenced by his taking said action (though I did take it to a sarcastic extreme because that's what we do here at the Burke Letters). Those goals I believe were accomplished, but there's still something missing. It's too obvious that I'm mocking him. I want my letters to hurt when they're read by the intended recipient, not just be discarded like another piece of hate-mail. So last night while watching the Daily Show I was reminded of one of my favorite recurring segments; Great Moments in Punditry as Read by Children. For any who haven't seen it, the segment showcases children reading transcripts of political pundits' appearences on various television news programs. The result is a very funny, though terribly eerie image of innocent kids spouting hateful soundbites at each other. The kids don't understand what they're reading, but they're still, to use the cliche, bickering like little children. That's when I was reminded that kids aren't born racists. They're not born sexists. Biggotry is learned somewhere along the line. That's what I was missing. Rumsfeld could tell (would he ever have read it) that my letter was written by someone who had already made up his own mind and decided to mock him. So to commemorate the release of Anne Coulter's new book (I believe it's called Godless: The Church of Liberals or some such bullshit) I've decided to write her a letter under the guise of a 8 year old boy. Incase you'd like to learn more about this lunatic you can visit her site at . You have to register on her site in order to e-mail her, but it's worth it to read all the ridiculous shit she has to say on her message boards.

One more thing before I post the letter. A favorite author of mine, Greg Palast, is also releasing a book today entitled "Armed Madhouse: Who's Afraid of Osama Wolf". Palast was one of the first journalists brave enough to tackle the theft of the 2000 American election and is constantly working to expose the underhanded dealings of organisations like the WTO and IMF. If you get a chance, be sure to check out his book and for more info you can visit his website at Ok. Here's the goods:



Dear Mrs. Coulter,

My name is sean and I go to Ste. Anne's school. It's in dayton in ohio. We are almost done forth grade and mrs. kennear wants us to write a letter to our hero. You are my favorite person and my mom and dad like you a lot to. They say one day I can be just like you if i work hard and speak my voice. They say i'm smart like you to. I already jumped one grade because i'm only 8 and in grade four. I don't think the towel heads are very smart do you? and I think libarals are stupid idiots. They dont have pakis in my school and dad says its because its only for people who like white god. I like white god do you? sometimes i think that maybe he put you and me here to help get rid off pakis and towel heads. And dad says that joos have all the money and dont share. I think they should but only with people who like god and not the bad guys. Dad tells everybody to read your books and he says your the best. I got in troublr the other day for saying another boy was a lazy dumb mexican but its because my teacher is a stupid libaral. Do you like the president because i like him a lot because its time somebody bombed thos damed towel heads right? One time if your in dayton you can come to my house for dinner. it would be fun.

From,
Sean Burke


P.S. Do you think the nigars should just get jobs and not well fair cause mom says so.




This is the kind of thing I imagine coming out of a kid's mouth when I think about all the ignorance and intolerance people like Coulter perpetuate when spewing their shit.