To Rev. Phelps and The Westboro Baptist Church with Christ's Love

I've changed the idea for the first Burke Letter so Wal-Mart will have to come sometime in the future. I saw something on the news that I thought was kind of ridiculous and thought I should comment on it. For those who are unaware, Reverend Phelps is the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church and has pioneered the "God Hates Fags" crusade. Recently they've been in the news for protesting at the funerals of fallen American soldiers claiming that God has killed them to punish the U.S. for accepting homosexuality. So I've decided to mock the shit out of them. This letter was mailed to the Westboro Baptist Church's official website as an "interview request". If you would like to read more about the ridiculousness of the Westboro Baptist Church or would like to comment yourself on their exploits you can reach them at their official webiste: www.godhatesfags.com (no joke, that's really the name)






Dear Rev. Phelps and Co.,

My associates and I would like to commend you on the great work you're doing to rid our world of the terrible plague that is faggotry, praise Jesus. Recently I was treated to a news segment about your noble protests at the grave sites of fallen American troops and was awestruck. I've always thought myself to be a reasonably smart man and the idea that troops were being killed because God was punishing them for accepting gayness had never occured to me. It's so simple, really. I mean, did you know that fags don't even recognise Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) as being a religious holiday? They just party like the filthy, devilish animals they are without bothering to acknowledge the fact that Mardi Gras was originaly the day Peter was dumped by his girlfriend and Jesus, after miraculously turning regular cream into ice cream, insisted that all the disciples pig out and bitch about women all night. Can you believe the ignorance of some people? Thank the Lord that there are strong willed people like Rev. Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church to stand up to dead soldiers. For years, I and others like me have been waiting for someone brave enough to come out and say "Hey! Listen here, fag lover, I don't care if you're dead or not, bring it on bitch! I'll kick your ass". So courageous. Anyhow, my group, the ADFCC have a vested interest in your exploits and your crusade as we all agree that faggotry is a crime against god and, to be honest, if this plague continues we'll all be out of work. Our first annual Gala is this October and we would be delighted if the good Rev. Phelps could attend and be our guest of honor. If there is any interest please contact us.



Praise the Lord,

Dr. Kevin N. Burke,
President/founder of ADFCC,
Abortion Doctors For Christ of Canada




P.S. As a token of our gratitude, we at the ADFCC have mailed
the Westboro Baptist Church 200 coupons to distribute to it's
parishoners good for one free abortion on their birthday.